Brillient!

[Peter Lucas]

What is the difference between a crying bound and gagged 10 year old
boy and a ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia
X/No/Achieve; yes

Help reign in capitalism"s rampage; Vote http://greens.org.au

[p***@hotmail.com]

Post by Peter Lucas
What is the difference between a crying bound and gagged 10 year old
boy and a ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia
X/No/Achieve; yes
Help reign in capitalism"s rampage; Votehttp://greens.org.au

Once at a racing meet, a spectator asked the owner of a Ferrari how
much the car cost. When informed, the spectator said, "But you could
buy a house for that!" To which the owner said, "Well, you can't take
a house to work, but you can always sleep in the car.."

A new Ferrari owner was stopped at a traffic signal next to an old man
on a moped. "How fast *is* that thing?", the old man asked. "About
370kph!" was the answer. "Eh, I think I'll keep my moped.", the old
man replied. So the new owner thought he'd show the old man something.
The light on the signal changed, and the Ferrari guy hit the throttle.
In three seconds, he was doing a hundred. But the old man was still in
his mirror! Undaunted, the driver bent his toe some more and was soon
doing 150! Stll, there was the old man on the moped, still in his
mirror. Now angry, the Ferrari pilot floored it. He looked up just as
the needle was sweeping past 300, and that cursed moped was still
there!! Giving up, the new owner backed out of it, and eventually
pulled to a stop. "What do I have to do to get a moped like *that*?"
he asked. The old man replied, "Well, you could start by unhooking my
suspender strap from your spoiler!"

A man walks into a bank in New York City, and asks for a $3000 loan.
The loan offiicer asks what the man's using for collateral, and his
eyes open wide when the customer sets down the keys to a brand new
Ferrari. The loan is immediately approved, and the officer is dreaming
of how he'll be promoted when this loan defaults. Two weeks later, the
man returns, pays the three grand and the $72.48 in interest, and asks
for his keys. "But..how?", asks the loan officer. The man replies,
"Well you see, I'm the owner of the Ferrari dealership here in the
City, and I had to go to Los Angeles on buisiness." "I still don't
understand", the banker said. "Why didn't you just garage it
somewhere?" The Ferrari dealer replied, "Where the hell could I park
for two weeks in New York for seventy-five bucks?"

And there's other good ones about Ronaldo wadding his up here:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/01/09/cristiano-ronaldo-ferrari-smash-jokes-flood-the-web-115875-21027894/

-Panama Floyd, Atlanta.
aa#2015/Member, Knights of BAAWA!

[annily]

Post by p***@hotmail.com
A man walks into a bank in New York City, and asks for a $3000 loan.
The loan offiicer asks what the man's using for collateral, and his
eyes open wide when the customer sets down the keys to a brand new
Ferrari. The loan is immediately approved, and the officer is dreaming
of how he'll be promoted when this loan defaults. Two weeks later, the
man returns, pays the three grand and the $72.48 in interest, and asks
for his keys. "But..how?", asks the loan officer. The man replies,
"Well you see, I'm the owner of the Ferrari dealership here in the
City, and I had to go to Los Angeles on buisiness." "I still don't
understand", the banker said. "Why didn't you just garage it
somewhere?" The Ferrari dealer replied, "Where the hell could I park
for two weeks in New York for seventy-five bucks?"

This makes no sense to me. If he owns a Ferrari dealership, wouldn't he
have a showroom or somewhere he could leave the car for 3 days?

[Lord Vetinari]

Post by annily

Post by p***@hotmail.com
A man walks into a bank in New York City, and asks for a $3000 loan.
The loan offiicer asks what the man's using for collateral, and his
eyes open wide when the customer sets down the keys to a brand new
Ferrari. The loan is immediately approved, and the officer is dreaming
of how he'll be promoted when this loan defaults. Two weeks later, the
man returns, pays the three grand and the $72.48 in interest, and asks
for his keys. "But..how?", asks the loan officer. The man replies,
"Well you see, I'm the owner of the Ferrari dealership here in the
City, and I had to go to Los Angeles on buisiness." "I still don't
understand", the banker said. "Why didn't you just garage it
somewhere?" The Ferrari dealer replied, "Where the hell could I park
for two weeks in New York for seventy-five bucks?"

This makes no sense to me. If he owns a Ferrari dealership, wouldn't he
have a showroom or somewhere he could leave the car for 3 days?

*sigh* I should've looked for a response before posting. Dham.

[p***@hotmail.com]

Post by annily

Post by p***@hotmail.com
A man walks into a bank in New York City, and asks for a $3000 loan.
The loan offiicer asks what the man's using for collateral, and his
eyes open wide when the customer sets down the keys to a brand new
Ferrari. The loan is immediately approved, and the officer is dreaming
of how he'll be promoted when this loan defaults. Two weeks later, the
man returns, pays the three grand and the $72.48 in interest, and asks
for his keys. "But..how?", asks the loan officer. The man replies,
"Well you see, I'm the owner of the Ferrari dealership here in the
City, and I had to go to Los Angeles on buisiness." "I still don't
understand", the banker said. "Why didn't you just garage it
somewhere?" The Ferrari dealer replied, "Where the hell could I park
for two weeks in New York for seventy-five bucks?"

This makes no sense to me. If he owns a Ferrari dealership, wouldn't he
have a showroom or somewhere he could leave the car for 3 days?

Good point. Maybe he was afraid someone on his talented staff would
sell the thing? <g>

-PF, Atl.
2015/KoB!

[Lord Vetinari]

<***@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:25fbba9e-1f05-4861-87c2-***@m1g2000yqo.googlegroups.com...
[snip]
: A new Ferrari owner was stopped at a traffic signal next to an old man
: on a moped. "How fast *is* that thing?", the old man asked. "About
: 370kph!" was the answer. "Eh, I think I'll keep my moped.", the old
: man replied. So the new owner thought he'd show the old man something.
: The light on the signal changed, and the Ferrari guy hit the throttle.
: In three seconds, he was doing a hundred. But the old man was still in
: his mirror! Undaunted, the driver bent his toe some more and was soon
: doing 150! Stll, there was the old man on the moped, still in his
: mirror. Now angry, the Ferrari pilot floored it. He looked up just as
: the needle was sweeping past 300, and that cursed moped was still
: there!! Giving up, the new owner backed out of it, and eventually
: pulled to a stop. "What do I have to do to get a moped like *that*?"
: he asked. The old man replied, "Well, you could start by unhooking my
: suspender strap from your spoiler!"

I prefer "Beep Beep", it's not quite the same, but funnier. Still, this
one's damned funny too.

: A man walks into a bank in New York City, and asks for a $3000 loan.
: The loan offiicer asks what the man's using for collateral, and his
: eyes open wide when the customer sets down the keys to a brand new
: Ferrari. The loan is immediately approved, and the officer is dreaming
: of how he'll be promoted when this loan defaults. Two weeks later, the
: man returns, pays the three grand and the $72.48 in interest, and asks
: for his keys. "But..how?", asks the loan officer. The man replies,
: "Well you see, I'm the owner of the Ferrari dealership here in the
: City, and I had to go to Los Angeles on buisiness." "I still don't
: understand", the banker said. "Why didn't you just garage it
: somewhere?" The Ferrari dealer replied, "Where the hell could I park
: for two weeks in New York for seventy-five bucks?"

I think the Ferrari dealership should've been left out...he obviously
could've parked there for free.

: And there's other good ones about Ronaldo wadding his up here:
:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/01/09/cristiano-ronaldo-ferrari-smash-jokes-flood-the-web-115875-21027894/

Good job! He seemed rather blasé, though, about wrecking a million bucks
worth of fine automobile.

[p***@hotmail.com]

Post by Lord Vetinari
[snip]
: A new Ferrari owner was stopped at a traffic signal next to an old man
: on a moped. "How fast *is* that thing?", the old man asked. "About
: 370kph!" was the answer. "Eh, I think I'll keep my moped.", the old
: man replied. So the new owner thought he'd show the old man something.
: The light on the signal changed, and the Ferrari guy hit the throttle.
: In three seconds, he was doing a hundred. But the old man was still in
: his mirror! Undaunted, the driver bent his toe some more and was soon
: doing 150! Stll, there was the old man on the moped, still in his
: mirror. Now angry, the Ferrari pilot floored it. He looked up just as
: the needle was sweeping past 300, and that cursed moped was still
: there!! Giving up, the new owner backed out of it, and eventually
: pulled to a stop. "What do I have to do to get a moped like *that*?"
: he asked. The old man replied, "Well, you could start by unhooking my
: suspender strap from your spoiler!"
I prefer "Beep Beep", it's not quite the same, but funnier.  Still, this
one's damned funny too.

<g>

snippy

Post by Lord Vetinari
:http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/01/09/cristiano-ronaldo...
Good job!  He seemed rather blasé, though, about wrecking a million bucks
worth of fine automobile.

I guess he figures he's going to be playing forever..that seems to be
the case with a lot of pro athletes in the US, can't think of why real
footballers wouldn't do the same in Europe. ;)

-PF, Atl.
2015/KoB!

[Lord Vetinari]

<***@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:e60b0a23-c22e-4cb6-b5c2-***@x25g2000yqj.googlegroups.com...
: On Aug 3, 4:25 pm, "Lord Vetinari" <***@att.net> wrote:
: > <***@hotmail.com> wrote in message
: >
: > news:25fbba9e-1f05-4861-87c2-***@m1g2000yqo.googlegroups.com...
: > [snip]
: > : A new Ferrari owner was stopped at a traffic signal next to an old man
: > : on a moped. "How fast *is* that thing?", the old man asked. "About
: > : 370kph!" was the answer. "Eh, I think I'll keep my moped.", the old
: > : man replied. So the new owner thought he'd show the old man something.
: > : The light on the signal changed, and the Ferrari guy hit the throttle.
: > : In three seconds, he was doing a hundred. But the old man was still in
: > : his mirror! Undaunted, the driver bent his toe some more and was soon
: > : doing 150! Stll, there was the old man on the moped, still in his
: > : mirror. Now angry, the Ferrari pilot floored it. He looked up just as
: > : the needle was sweeping past 300, and that cursed moped was still
: > : there!! Giving up, the new owner backed out of it, and eventually
: > : pulled to a stop. "What do I have to do to get a moped like *that*?"
: > : he asked. The old man replied, "Well, you could start by unhooking my
: > : suspender strap from your spoiler!"
: >
: > I prefer "Beep Beep", it's not quite the same, but funnier. Still, this
: > one's damned funny too.
:
: http://youtu.be/D4W7oZBhAJg
:
: <g>

Heh

: snippy
:
: > : And there's other good ones about Ronaldo wadding his up here:
: >
:http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/01/09/cristiano-ronaldo...
: >
: > Good job! He seemed rather blasé, though, about wrecking a million bucks
: > worth of fine automobile.
:
: I guess he figures he's going to be playing forever..

Relevance? It wasn't his car...

: that seems to be
: the case with a lot of pro athletes in the US, can't think of why real
: footballers wouldn't do the same in Europe. ;)

Perhaps many athletes pour all their efforts into getting there, and once
there, are having too much fun to worry about the future. I'm just
guessing, of course.

[Nunya Bidnits]

I want to thank you bait sucking morons for contributing so nicely to my
killfile.

Get a clue, or pull the plug. Please.

<plonk>

[Lord Vetinari]

Post by Nunya Bidnits
I want to thank you bait sucking morons for contributing so nicely to my
killfile.
Get a clue, or pull the plug. Please.
<plonk>

You _might_ get better results, if you bothered to indicate in some manner
just who you're directing this lame flame. Prolly not.

[Christopher A. Lee]

On Mon, 2 Aug 2010 14:31:03 -0700 (PDT), Peter Lucas

Post by Peter Lucas
What is the difference between a crying bound and gagged 10 year old
boy and a ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

What's the difference between a pigeon and a yuppie during the recent
stock market crash?

A yuppie can't put a deposit on a Ferrari.

[Doc Smartass]

Post by Christopher A. Lee
On Mon, 2 Aug 2010 14:31:03 -0700 (PDT), Peter Lucas

Post by Peter Lucas
What is the difference between a crying bound and gagged 10 year old
boy and a ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

What's the difference between a pigeon and a yuppie during the recent
stock market crash?
A yuppie can't put a deposit on a Ferrari.

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud
hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to
help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer
can't be found.

So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope
around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend,
the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again
and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to
go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over
the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my penis and pull yourself up."
And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

THE MORAL: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up
chicks. :)